Helpful vs. Unhelpful sleep props
I am often told by parents on assessment calls that their baby can fall asleep all on their own when they put them in their crib but then they wake multiple times per night. What’s the deal?! Well, most often even though parents think their baby is doing all of that settling into sleep work all on their own, there’s actually something they are using to help them get there. Those “things” are called sleep props!
What’s the difference between helpful and unhelpful sleep props?
A sleep prop is anything your little one is reliant on to fall asleep. However, there’s a big difference between a helpful sleep prop and a not so helpful sleep prop. A helpful sleep prop is something they are able to use as a tool to help them fall asleep. However, it does not do all of the falling asleep work for them. Your little one is still in control of when and how they fall asleep.
A helpful sleep prop is a tool your little one is using to help them settle into sleep. However, it does not do the falling asleep work for them. Your little one is still in control of when and how they fall asleep. Think things like a sound machine, a sleep sack, sucking on their thumb/fingers, a dark room, etc. These types of tools are able to be used long-term and don’t require a lot of hands-on support from a parent or caregiver.
On the other hand, an unhelpful sleep prop is something that works short-term and requires a lot of parent or caregiver assistance. Unlike a helpful sleep prop, unhelpful sleep props do all of that settling into sleep work for your little one. Your child is no longer in control of when and how they fall asleep, instead the prop is! Think rocking, feeding, holding, replacing their pacifier, etc.
Do you see how there’s a big difference? Unhelpful sleep props require a lot from you or something else like movement that your baby cannot control all on their own to help them settle into sleep.
How to tell if your little one is reliant on an unhelpful sleep prop to fall asleep
Think about your bedtime and nap time routines. At the end of your routine, how does your little one fall asleep? Are they feeding, in your arms, requiring the pacifier, or something else to settle in?
And how about in the middle of the night? Even if they are falling asleep on their own at bedtime, what happens at each night waking? Do they require you to feed, rock, hold, or replace the pacifier for them again?
If you answered yes to any of the above, then your little one is likely reliant on an unhelpful sleep prop to fall asleep! When your little one is offered one of these props at bedtime, nap time, or at a night waking, they will wake again wondering where they went! And hence immediately start signaling for you (aka crying) to help them again. Your baby is basically saying to you “Hey! I was just being rocked and now I’m no longer moving and by myself in my crib and have no idea what to do! Help!” They truly don’t know HOW to get back into a deep sleep again without help!
Now for some babies, they are able to be rocked/fed/held at bedtime and then in the middle of the night they’re like meh I’m good and can go back to sleep on their own and get a full night’s rest. If that’s the case for your kiddo, no need to make a change! However, If you are waking multiple times per night to help your little one back to sleep and/or spending what feels like forever to help them fall asleep at bedtime and naptime, and it’s just not working for you, it might be time to make a change.
How teaching independent sleep helps your child connect sleep cycles on their own
If your little one doesn’t know how to fall asleep any other way, they will continue to wake looking for help back to sleep. Once we’ve hit the 4 month mark, most babies are ready and capable to learn HOW to fall asleep and stay asleep without unhelpful sleep props. Just like learning how to ride a bike, with practice and consistency they will come to love sleep and their sleep space!
I work with families to make just that happen! Every little one that comes to me is reliant on an unhelpful sleep prop to fall asleep, and every single one has walked away no longer needing that prop to help them to sleep. Trust me when I say that your little one does not NEED any of those things to help them to sleep. They just don’t know HOW to fall asleep without them. With holistic sleep coaching, we are able to teach your little one how to fall asleep and stay asleep independently without unhelpful sleep props.
This is not said to make you feel guilty for however you are helping your baby to sleep now (heck, almost all come out with an affinity for being rocked, fed, etc to sleep). Rather, it’s to show you that all babies are capable of independent sleep. Independent sleep is a taught skill and your baby is ready to learn it, so let’s teach ‘em.
If you’d like to learn more about how we can work together to get your family better sleep, contact me to set up a free 15 min assessment call so we can dive in!
Oh and one more thing - this info applies to babies AFTER the 4 month mark! While of course we want to encourage newborns to get practice falling asleep without rocking, feeding, holding, etc. they are not yet capable of fully learning how to do so just yet and may need some of these things from time to time.
